The gift from GOD

Sunday, March 16, 2014

motherhood.

I never thought it was like this.

My baby, Elsa Chua was born on 4 Feb. 34 weeks and 3 days... she's a premature baby aka a premie.

she weigh 1.9kg and her lungs weren't strong so stayed in NICU for 5 days where tubes and wires hooked onto her. it was heart wrenching :(

I want to pen down every single thing so I can look back many years to tell my story. yes, like "how I met your mother" but mine is "How I give birth to Elsa" hehehe :)

here it goes:

It all started when I was bleeding profusely in the morning after my hubby went to work.

The funny thing was we were talking about whether I feel excited or nervous about her coming out.

the next thing was I was bleeding non stop when I was still lying on the bed. it was like water tap! I was shivering and very afraid.

only my FIL at home and he also panicked. at that moment, M1 network was down and he cannot even make a phone call to call ambulance. of all times!

my MIL, SIL all went to Europe and the maid went down to buy food for me.

When my FIL grab a chair for me to sit down, the blood just keep flowing down non stop from my cervix.

I was seriously scared to stiff :( I will never forget that feeling. I hope my bb wasn't in danger.

I called my gynae, Dr Paul Tseng from TMC for advice and thereafter, on the way to KKH. He already pre-empt me if need, can go to KKH to deliver the baby if there's heavy bleeding.

When i reach KKH at about 9am+, I was on a stretcher with my pyjamas and braless. The nurse took down my bottoms and my undergarment and that's when I realised, I was bleeding more than the other 3 times.

when I was in delivery suite, my hubby was with me and the medical officers with staff nurses attended to me.

Apparently, the medical officers are like medical interns and the doctors were giving real life lessons of my case to them -.- I was like "err... I am their guinea pig?"

what to do?

KKH subsidy emergency case - we wanted to save costs so we decided to go for non specialist.

there were conflicting instructions given by the medical officers. one told me, i might deliver today after checking if the water bag burst and another told me, deliver tomorrow.

the real doctor came and also gave me no answers.

the medical officer opened my cervix and my hubby saw 2 lumps of blood that resemble pig's blood in a cube form coming out from my cervix.

after checking, yes my water bag burst!

the staff nurse also confirmed I was having contractions of 3 min interval but seriously, it didn't feel like it.

I seriously hate the drip. I had 3 drips with 2 needles injected.

The flow was fast so it hurt.. The saline was flowing into my body.

I was thinking, OMG! this is not the actual delivery and I was already in pain.
when the medical officer opened my cervix, I already felt uncomfortable. I can't imagine doing natural delivery without epidural.

my FIL told my hubby that I must give birth from 1 to 3pm (the best hour) but it wasn't for us to dictate the slot of the operating theatre.

to cut the story short, I went into operating theatre...the anesthetist inserted the epidural into my spine but before that, a few anesthetists were arguing about my case and got a bossy nurse inserted another drip because I needed blood transfusion.

epidural injection wasn't as bad as I thought. seriously, i think drip injections are more painful.

I felt numb almost immediately and was laid down at the OT table.

the operation commenced.

I had a cloth covered below my neck area to prevent me from watching the procedure.

I started shivering - effects of epidural.

within 15 min, my bb was out! I heard her cry.. very faint light sound and they brought her to my face. I kissed her 2 times and she was taken away from me :(

the next few moments of 2 hours operation, I lost 2 litres of blood and unable to do stemcord for my baby.

the C sect wound was very painful for the first 2 days that I can't walk and unable to see my baby in NICU.

I stayed in a 5 bedder ward with no TV. geez, I don't know how I survived.

I started chatting with the other patients about our experiences and I was envious when they can bring their babies next to them. the drawback is the babies kept crying non stop in the middle of the night.

I started pumping my breast milk out. I was so happy when I had 10 ml of colostrum! but it was shortlived. next 2 days were only a few droplets of milk where my hubby have to save every droplet coming out from my breasts.

I was very determined for my bb.. so I pumped religiously every 3 hours even in the middle of the night.

3rd day I started walking to c my baby. so happy!

I can't believe things I have went through as a mother. the selfless love.

mama shi zui wei da de :)

for 2 weeks, she was in NICU and in SCN in KKH. I can only stay home for confinement to tell my hubby to deliver my EBM.

I miss her so much so I relied on the videos and pics my hubby sent me.

what a journey and more to come! I will post another post on her development.

She's my sunshine :D