Monday, July 19, 2004
Lame Jokes!!!!!!!!!!!! ::
This is Ultimately Hilarious!
Here goes:
One day an evil witch took over the forest,
''One-by-one, all of you useless animals have to come up here and tell a
joke... if everybody laughs, you will be spared... or else I'll cut off
your head!''
The monkey went up first and told such a funny joke that all the animals
laughed except fot a tortoise.. so the witch cut off his head.
Next, a giraffe went up and she, in turn told a joke that set all the
animals off laughing... but still, the tortoise did not laugh...so the
witch cut off her head.
Then, the rabbit went up... but before she could say a word, the tortoise
started laughing...
''Why are you laughing you stupid tortoise?'' the witch asked.
The monkey's joke was very funny...'' was the reply.
One day, Mr. Caterpillar decided to hitch a ride to town. As he was
standing by the roadside, a family of bees came by in a little car and
offered him a ride
Gratefully, he accepted. After putting along merrily for a few kilometers,
the engine sputtered and the car rolled to a halt. Without saying a word,
Papa Bee alighted and urinated into the fuel intake. When he turned the
starter, the engine started up, much to Mr Caterpillar's amazement!
However, he did not say a word. The car went on for quite some distance
before the engine died again. This time, it was Mother Bee who urinated
into the fuel intake, and again, the car started up after that. The process
was then repeated again for Baby Bee.
By the time the engine died for the fourth time, the little car was only a
few kilometers from town. Not wanting to appear unsophisticated, Mr
Caterpillar got out of the car without a word, and started opening the fuel
cap.
In a flash, Papa Bee got out of the car. "What are you doing?" asked Papa
Bee.
"I'm going to piss in the fuel intake, just like you did", said Mr
Caterpillar.
"Oh, no", said Papa Bee patiently, "that won't do. This car only runs on
Bee Pee (BP)."
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the
Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked,
"What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a
Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move".
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?
That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible, said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved
twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's George Bush's clock?" asked the man.
"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
A rainbow to end my day
4:53 PM
