You feel as if you have missed out on a great deal that life had to offer and you go about trying to make up for past failures. Naturally at times you get depressed and you try to compensate for your 'missed opportunities' by living your life to the full. This is what, perhaps, may be described as 'living with exaggerated intensity'. In this way you feel you can break the chains of the past and start again - and it could be that you are right.
my say: quite true but not absolutely. sometimes I do look back and think about the decisions I made and try to make it better by just making myself believe that I have done better this time round. but I fail to think that anyhow, the failure has already occured. just being optimistic alrite, take the depression out.
You need an atmosphere of peace and quiet and you would like to share a bond of understanding with the 'right person' - you have the belief that with the right person, your stress and anxiety could be minimised.
my say: totally agree. I need the 'right person'. nneth - you are doing it right. friends - you are awesome. atmosphere - what more can I ask for being alone in the hostel is what I need away from the external world.
At times one is burdened with more than one's fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.
my say: haha. of course I have problems just don't magnify them. I just laugh it off. yes, I know what I want but I just keeping my eyes on the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. wrong, not a rainbow. it's a journey. a hard one maybe but I just thinking of HOW TO overcome the obstacles to get there. enlighten me.
As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.
my say: people don't know but I always sleep at 3am and have been eating unhealthy food because of hall staying. physical needs definitely not fulfiled. better not show! yes, I really find it a chore to like really being interactive like making new friends or going for gatherings with my other group of friends. I am not that kind who msg people whom I seldom meet to say, "hey how are you!?" it's fake to me. like wearing a mask smiling. I am passive (not the lesbian kind).
seriously, I don't seek affiliation. in fact, I can't. a group of good friends more than I can ask for. I don't think it's a weakness to be alone eating,shopping, sleeping, staying, going for classes. I think I can make do with that. I don't wanna try so hard. Do I need to be part of the GROUP? sure do, only if they are worth it. others, I dun give a HOOT.
haha, narcisst - loving myself. sure will. admiration - sure do! that's why the special someone is being cherished for - for me.
The fear that you may not be able to fulfil or realise all of your ambitions makes you work and play hard. The thought of being prevented from achieving the things you want leads you to play your part with frantic fervour.
definitely fearless. I fear.
I think sometimes people strive hard for where they are. I wanna do that too. regardless how hard this path can be.