so many things have change
Friday, January 03, 2014
things have change but people?
I think I have changed. I am glad it's for the better.. *grin*
2013 have been great.
- I got married to a great guy. he's not rich but he got the heart and treat me like a little queen :P
Marriage is for life and I hope we can make this last because no one knows what the future holds.
constantly creating the sparks and communication is key.
I never thought I would meet the one.
I had all these "standards" and "hygiene" like the guy cannot have BO, bad breath, snoring etc.
Keith have fulfilled them all. hope he maintains this way.
we will work hard together for our future. YEA!
- I got pregnant. yeaps, it's true. I am going to be a mother *gasps*
I am truly blessed to be given this gift from God. only he can create life.
it wasn't planned for but it just happen and I am glad :)
it's been 7 and a half months this pregnancy journey and it's been great.
I feel her little movements and big kicks in my belly... so miraculous and I am enjoying every moment.
I think I should record my pregnancy journey else I forget like my mum.
I asked her and she's like "so many years ago already, I forget"
My pregnancy started as a SHOCK.
I did not realised I was pregnant until i missed my menses for a week.
I felt normal except my stomach was not bloated. usually, before menses, my stomach will bloat out (not as if i have no tummy.)
so ok, I tested the pregnancy kit and it's POSITIVE.
i didn't believe it so i went to the doc. POSITIVE AGAIN. they took test kit to do it. -.-"
ok took folic acid then i had a bali trip upcoming.
at that time, I was lost and confused.
Should we get married? what if he don't want? can i take on this burden to be a single mum?
what is abortion like? how my parents feel? do we have the money to buy house and marry?
do i love this guy to spend the rest of my life with ? does he love me? will i regret?
what will happen if this kid grow up in a single parent family?
so many questions with no answers.
we decided to have a H2H talk about this.
he asked me 3 questions:
- Do I want to marry him?
- Am I ready to be a mum?
- How much do I want this?
he's a logical and practical person so he need these answers before he can make a decision.
well, to put the story short. the journey was great. we just ROM-ed first in TCC@keppel bay and decided we will put the banquet and customary on hold first till I give birth.
we bought our EC house all within a month in August which is ready by May 2016
we went to Bali and I drank alcohol (the last touch) and played in waterbom park in Kuta, Bali. took exciting water rides.. really fun! actually I was so "gung ho" as by right first trim, should be very careful else miscarry.
I had so much faith in God that this baby is meant to be and NOTHING not even the devil can take this baby away from us :)
"You shall serve the Lord your God, and he[a] will bless your bread and your water, and I will take sickness away from among you. 26 None shall miscarry or be barren in your land; I will fulfill the number of your days." - Exodus 23:25 to 26
my GOD is here protecting me and my baby... forever and for the rest of our days together :)
First trimester was smooth. I had good appetite and no morning sickness.. just nausea feeling all the time.
the only sad thing is I cannot drink or eat my fave sashimi :(
I ate one time and drank one time because my friend say as long as it's fresh, it's ok to take a few! but gosh, i felt so guilty after that.
I drank so much milk. 2 cartons every week - Marigold low fat, hi cal with DHA omega 3 is LOVE! yums
I tried taking supplements but the tablets are too big for me to swallow and I vomited them out therefore, I decided to do without them even when I used a cutter.
It is a joy to go gynae and see the little heartbeat growing inside me.
the joys of being pregnant is unexplainable.
I see her growing week by week makes it all worth it.
2nd trim was rather smooth sailing too.
Though I had nasty yeast infection that has form to a culture. it was afraid it will be strep B which is more complicated and will affect the baby.
I was also really tired. sleepy and having spinning headaches from time to time.
boobs got bigger, tummy getting heavier and rounder.
I was garnering for a boy but it turn out to be a girl! my hubby is happy :)
I wish for a healthy baby most importantly.
my OSCAR test was 1/555 probability and 555 represents grace! Praise the Lord!
this girl is rather active.
kicking, jabbing, turning, tossing, somersaulting I am sure.
I already love her before I met her like the savage garden song, "I knew I loved you before I met you"
Other things I felt during pregnancy is I was dropping hair and also feeling constipated. I tried eating fruits but still constipated until I get piles :(
got this lump at my anus but it's harmless so just putting moisturizer on it.
I also got flashes of ezcema on my face and scalp.
as you can see, if you read till here. I am trying to be as detailed as possible so next time can use it as a reference :)
good thing is i didn't put on much weight. the start of my pregnancy, I was 46.5kg and now I am 53.8kg.
my 2nd trim.. I didn't have much cravings or appetite. really weird unlike the rest.
so my friends told me, if they didn't see my belly, they wouldn't guessed I am pregnant.
my tummy is also not as big as my friend's wife who had her navel button sticking out already.
Moving onto 3rd trim now!
the first day of 3rd trim - horror thing happened! in the early morning, I feel liquid trickling down my legs.
I woke up at 9am in horror. I was bleeding and I rush to the toilet and wanted to pee but pee out chunks of blood. I was shivering. I hope my baby is ok. I prayed to GOD.
the night before, I felt my baby kicking vigorously. I wonder what happen so I went to c my gynae straight away and was still bleeding. when i took out my undergarment with my pad, the blood flow out like water tap on the gynae table below.
I knew it was my placenta - the life source for my baby.
I had placenta previa (major) and like the gynae say, it's like a seed planted - u will never know where the "Seed" will be planted.
I can rely on my GOD for this healing.
In his stripes, I am healed!
so I was admitted to hospital in thomson medical centre for 2 nights in a 2 bedder room.
My hubby stayed by my side until he gotta go off for running errands as his sister was getting married the following day.
i was still bleeding but not as much as before. I tried to pass motion but exert force so I bled more.
I just continue to relax... and was told to bed rest and no unnecessary movements.
after discharging from hospital, I still went to my sis-in-law wedding on 29 Dec but unable to go meet my friends for NYE countdown :( I was upset because every year, I was there until this year.
my hubby did not allow me to go because it's too big a risk.
nevertheless, it's been a week now - I am on hospitalisation leave and cheers to 2014!
15 march - my EDD and I can't wait to see my little one.
it's going to be a great journey in 2014 - parenthood, motherhood and babyhood.
I am going to go thru C-sect and may GOD give me the strength and courage with a smooth delivery as he has delivered me from my transgressions.
all glory to almighty GOD, my father, my abba.. my jehovah jireh, my shalom peace... and everything that had me whole and bring me to where I am today.
Labels: 2014, happy me, love, marriage, pregnant, relationships
A rainbow to end my day
5:12 PM
what's god gift to me?
Thursday, December 08, 2011
When I was in my teens, I dislike preachers.
I mean give me a break! "praise the lord!" "thank you jesus!"
It started since I was 6 years old, going to Bethesda chapel in Bedok.
Oh how long god's relationship with me have started and then neglected :(
I asked myself, "what god's intention to seek for him now?" "why now?"
He seeked my faith in him and to tell myself, stop condemning myself for the things I've done because god is a forgiving god and as long as I am the righteousness in my faith, I will receive an abundance of grace, amen!
I am not perfect - I have said and done things that I regretted and I often ask myself,
"this is my karma"
"god want me to regret"
"this is my retribution"
thank god, I attended new creation church and hearing sermon about condemning no more... to receive grace from god.
I am happy for my ex bfs who are all getting married except for the most recent one.
truly sincerely am.
don't think anyone as mention will read but I think I am good luck lynette :P
as long as they are happy, I am happy.. no point comparing happiness.
many years down the road, as I read this blog post, I hope I can dare to say "I did find my own happiness too"
and I am sure god will help me along this journey...
because god is great, god is good.
lately, I thought I will never like someone ever again because the hurt was too deep but god proved me wrong.
I did.
though the person did not reciprocate, I am glad he made me realised, my heart deserved a second chance - undeserving second chance to let myself fall over heels with :)
it was a quiet happiness, inside shouting "YES, I DID IT AGAIN"
my friend asked if I am sad, I say though I am but god made me see it positively.
PRAISE THE LORD!Labels: god, love
A rainbow to end my day
1:42 AM
god is great
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
I recently embarked a journey to know god.
and when god came into my life, it was great, it was amazing!
with god's grace, I've experienced greatness.
so this greatness starts here. it's about my father.
All along, my father is a man of a few words.. he work so hard that every weekend, every family outing, he was not around.
however, he made efforts to appear during my graduations, my overseas study trips to send me off in airports - was more than I could ever ask for truly.
My childhood was great because of my ever greatest mum but father is always around to support me financially and in times of trouble - when I was cheated, dumped in love, work etc.
he's not all great sometimes, he scold and insult too. but I take it all in just because he's my father and for my own good I presume.
when I was learning how to drive, it was not rosy because he's a driving instructor and frankly, i was a bad driver then :P so the scoldings went all the way from the driveways and to home even. being a man, being my father - he had expectations of a driving instructor's daughter.
Now that I am driving, he never fail to surprise me - wash my car, polish my car, bring my car for servicing, offer to sponsor this and that.
So where does GOD have a part to play in this?
I never thought much of my father. I've been showering my love to my mum who was more needy and attention seeking (I mean she's a woman?)
Last night, i was praying if god want to make changes in my life.. let it start with my family.
When I was driving home, I was thinking of my father.
I was thinking of the funny moments where I tried to find my father's car in the parking lot to park beside him vice versa and how he tell me, he washed my car speck and span and trying to get some acknowledgement from me. to me, it's funny - funnily loving. he would wash my car from time to time - free car wash, who don't want? haha
then my sis came home today say there's a funny incident just after my thoughts of my dad run thru my mind.
she told me an old friend randomly ask her if she wanna learn driving because he has a good intructor in woodlands to intro and his name is robert.
what are the odds that our father name robert is also staying & teaching in woodlands?!
so my sis ask if his surname is "chee"
then all came to light - he was introducing my father to all of his friends and to my sis!
LOL, i wanna shout: PRAISE THE LORD!!!!
he introduced 10 friends to my dad and my sis didn't ask him to intro driving instructor. he just spread the word volunteerily without rewards, without repayment.
he told my sis, my father was a strict and good instructor and scolded him when he was late.
wow! I was impressed and thankful to this guy friend of my sis.
inside me, I also know who to thank - the greater someone who is answering to my prayer almost immediately.
in god's grace, we reign.
thank god for taking care of my father :)
i pray for more greatness as I am righteous in my faith.Labels: father, god, happy me, love
A rainbow to end my day
7:14 PM
the heart wants but the brain is saying no..
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Labels: love, me
A rainbow to end my day
12:57 AM
my happy ending...
Saturday, May 14, 2011
wow! it's been a long time dear old friend :)
6 feb 2010.
14 May 2011
more than a year since I last blogged. I've decided to bear my heart out once again and this entry marks the beginning. again.
so many things happen since I last blogged. to make it real short and sweet, on 14 February I met someone whom I love very dearly and 23 February we got together then we started on a Long Distance Relationship aka LDR.
it was really tough, distance far apart. I was skeptical at first but we got through it.
we were madly in love and I meant MAD, SIAOZ, CRAZY DOWNRIGHT HARDCORE.
"how?"
crazy things like talking till wee hours in the night about anything & everything
we almost see each other monthly? he fly here, i fly there like machiam flight attendant. the only difference we only got one destination, one person in mind.
we started 2 fast 2 furious and I did not even keep track of the time and space.
I have to admit, I enjoyed it. it was LOVE ON BOILING POINT. no, maybe VOLCANO LAVA EXPLODING.
haha no exaggeration intended.
u noe the thing is when u r in love, u r blind. I am not desperate but if we even thought of getting engaged.
we applied for a flat and got lucky 76 out a few thousand applicants!
sadly and maybe fated, our salaries exceeded and even our appeal did not went through.
I went over to Aussie for 3 months - living with him, cooking for him, doing housework.
Please, lynette... I have never ever ever done this before for anyone.
even my mother is envious. "eh come home and do all these for your family hor!"
frankly then this question pops up,
"find someone you can live without and not someone you can live with" then I ask myself,
is it so perfect that I can live with him and yet can't live without him?
As I was soaking in my own happiness, ignorant of what's happening.
he is having a different thought.
I dunno how, dunno when it all started. all i know is it has happen.
the passion has died and the reality has come to face.
so here I am, posting my sad story. falling into a dilemma. again.
Maybe this is my karma. But I believe god has other plans for me.
I leave it to him to write my love story :)
people come and go however, these obstacles will not pull me down. I will be happy because life is short and life isn't just about happy endings.
I know I will find my happy ending someway, somehow, somewhere.
All I know, god has been fair to me. the relationships I've been in taught me alot and the bfs I've had treated me well. I felt really blessed when I heard of other ladies' sad stories of being cheated of their money and being treated like shit - in the most horrible way you can ever imagine.
I am counting my blessings.
Whatever the decision or route I've decided, I will live with it and make the best.
I always told some friends my last resort, at most I just be a single spinster who want kids by choosing a sperm donor. haha.
I will be happy, I promise :)Labels: love, me
A rainbow to end my day
6:40 PM
This is love
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Someone in msn tell me this and I just saved it for 2 years. noone important. just a friend but I just find this piece meaningful, don't u?
Adrian Says: Taizhong here I come!!! says:
but well i believe in commitment n adapability for the one u love
Adrian Says: Taizhong here I come!!! says:
it's a 2 way thing. no one is perfect
Adrian Says: Taizhong here I come!!! says:
it's up to u how much u're willing to change n accept for one another during e changes in times n situations
Adrian Says: Taizhong here I come!!! says:
tat will determine how ur love can be measure against timeLabels: love
A rainbow to end my day
3:01 AM
Mr Wrongs
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Stickgal's blog is one of my faves in blogspot.
She did not write anything but her drawings show about her life and some thoughts as well.
witty and humour.
I wanna show u one of her works which I feel so strongly about
(Note: they are drawn by stickgal and taken from her blog)
THE MR WRONGS - have you met any of them?
The Flirt
The Swindler
The 2 timer
The Abuser
The Narcissist
The Married
The Miser
The Obviously-Cannot-Make-It
The Never There
The Clinger
How many have I met? Quite a few though.
the scary side? some only revealed after MARRIAGE.
if you met and left, good for u.
if you met and went back, got hurt again. it's not the guy's fault but urs.
think about it!Labels: love
A rainbow to end my day
1:06 AM
I can so relate to this
Monday, February 12, 2007
HER DIARY
I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was up set. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behaviour; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too."
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to Do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV. he seemed distant and absent.
Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.
I started crying and cried until I fell asleep. I don't know what to do.
I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY
Today Man U lost to Arsenal. ShitLabels: love
A rainbow to end my day
9:20 PM
Love case
Friday, January 19, 2007
u noe sometimes forum can teach us alot of things.
as a matter of fact. true encounters allow u to prepared for the worst and even things you never thot it could happen to u.
I saw this case and I thought it was really worth thinking about:
WILL YOU GIVE HIM A 2ND CHANCE FOR A MISTAKE?
depends.
read on. (warning: long read but interesting for the mind and soul)
and I just want to say, ladies: you are not alone.
gotten it from flowerpod.com.sg
Background
SO and I have been together for almost 4.5 years. I am 26 and and working. He is 21 and in NS.
His parents disapprove of our relationship (not due to the age gap but other things) and have been pressuring him to break up with me since day 1. but he hanged on.
He is generally a perfect SO with cares a lot for me and spends most of his time with me.
After he got posted to his unit in NS, he goes clubbing everynow and then. Although I didn't like it very much, I felt I should trust him so I don't disallow him to go (not that I really have the right to disallow him anyway). On several occasions, he has brought me along with him. But I don't enjoy clubbing.
Main Story
Today I looked at his HP sms when he was over at my place (I know I shouldn't but I couldn't resist). Obviously he met a gal last night when he was out clubbing. I guess if I allow him to go clubbing, I should be prepared that he might chat with gals. What angered me was that he smsed the gal this morning and asked her out for lunch. She wasn't free.
He was asleep. So I woke him up, pushed his HP to him, and asked him to explain. He kept quiet. Then he went through his inbox and deleted those sms. I told him, delete all you want but I have read enough. I left him alone and went about to do my things. Later on, we talked. I questioned him calmly. Eventually he admitted that he asked for her phone number. He claimed it was the first time he has done that. I asked why, he said he was just being playful. And insisted they only danced and sms. Never went out together.
I said, if he didn't love me anymore, just let me go, and he will be free to know other girls and have his fun. He said he still love me a lot. I tried to knock some sense into him, telling him, he has already sacrificed so much for our relationship (being withstanding his parent's disapproval), why must he do some silly thing and break our trust. If he is tired of being with me, or tired of facing his parents' disapproval, then the right thing should be that he let me go.
He said he knew it was a stupid thing to do. It was the first time, and it will be the last. And he asked for my forgiveness. I didn't scream at him or asked for breakup or chased him out of the house or anything. I merely cried a lot. Now he has gone home but he will be back again soon to bring me out for dinner.
I don't know what to do. He says he will not go clubbing anymore (i did not tell he not to go, he volunteered it). But I said even then, I don't know how to trust him again.
by a podder.
______________________
she don't want to break up with him. But she don't know how to trust him again.
DYING QUES FROM HER:
How do I tell whether he is truly sorry? How do I tell if he truly loves me? How do I tell whether I should continue waiting for him, like I have done for the past 4 years? I know I chose to be with someone who is much younger than me and who can't marry me until several years later. In the past I know it is worth waiting because the love is true. Now? I am not so sure. Will I wait for him for another 2 years, only to to catch him doing something fishy again?
Was he just being playful? Does he really love me? Is this relationship worth holding on to?
AND THIS IS MY FRIENDLY 2 CENTS WORTH:
How do I tell whether he is truly sorry?
- It's really hard to say. based on my experience, guys can be gd actors. maybe he's really sorry but we all noe there's something call temptations and girls who MAY make the initiative and they think, WHY NOT?
How do I tell whether I should continue waiting for him, like I have done for the past 4 years?
- girl... i know it's never easy. i had a 5 yrs before and he betrayed me. time is NOT AN ISSUE. i know there are many obstacles and memories but when people change, thigns change, expectations change. one for themselves. waiting, waiting and waiting and end up NOTHING.
TO BE realistic, how long can someone wait?
what are the opportunity costS?
what are the risk of change of heart?
remember: YOUTH IS A WOMAN'S PRECIOUS THING.
if you lose it, it's gone..... gone forever!
my point is if he's worth the time even for the slightest mistake, girl you make the call.
I know I chose to be with someone who is much younger than me and who can't marry me until several years later. In the past I know it is worth waiting because the love is true. Now? I am not so sure.
- you made the choice and you should have known it from the start. risky but you took the chance for 4.5 yrs!!!!!!!!! geez.. i kinda admire you! not easy. but don't because of the sacrifices you made and not willing to take the plunge but noone noes what lies ahead.
the longer you drag, the harder and more hurt inflicted. you should noe.
marry???? sorry ger. I hope life is SIMPLE as it sounds.
the future of u settling with him is bleak.
I mean NS guys - who noes?
how he will be treating u as a WIFE?
we don't noe.
uncertainty 100%
don't tell me TRUE LOVE.
yes, u miss him. u love him.
but realistically, how vague this truth is becoming to be when other issues are raising?
don't talk abt the past. you know the PRESENT AND FUTURE matters most.
SOMETIMES LOVE IS JUST AIN'T ENOUGH.
we all seek. we all pursue but at the end of the day, who talks abt I MARRIED FOR LOVE?
OTHER things matter.
however, if other matters goes well and you LOVE HIM i mean TRULY then you are one of the luckiest few smile.gif
Will I wait for him for another 2 years, only to to catch him doing something fishy again?
2 yrs..... how will u ever come up with such a time frame?
so if not, you MOVE on after that?
girl... its 6.5 yrs of ur life!!!!!!!!
how many men you would have met and cherished u?
I mean you are with him meaning there's somethin worth looking forward to rite?
a FUTURE. a husband.
so, why 2 yrs?
shouldn't be a WHOLE LIFETIME?
Was he just being playful? Does he really love me? Is this relationship worth holding on to?
HE'S young. he's exploring.
is that an ACCEPTABLE REASON?
sorry not to me.
because i c men who play all their lives.
taking numbers and have a girl waiting for them at home
wondering, have they gone home after clubbing
a leopard will never change its spots.
true. some guys will settle down.
does your boy belong to this category?
again, WE DUNNO.
Because based on a mistake you just mention.
girl, LOVE IS thin red line between NEED.
he could be used to u.
he could have something that cling on to u.
or maybe he JUST LOVE U.
but i prefer that LOVE do fades thru time regardless of any obstacles.
he love u and wouldn't have done that.
why risk it?
he risked it.
why must u turn his risk and turn it to urs?
2 choices: leave him to explore and take all of his nonsense and praying u end up with him after he turns 25.
or move on, get a man who deserve u and whom u deserve regardless the kind of man he will turn out to be.
a MISTAKE is ALWAYS a mistake
gd luck.
woman don't let the HEART RULE THE MIND.
THE HEART IS A weak thing
---------------------------
THEN i started do my girl thing, imagining if what I said is what i will do if it ever happen to me...
suddenly I thought maybe I will just murder him....Labels: love
A rainbow to end my day
3:28 AM
Someone's jerk becomes someone's prince charming
Thursday, January 11, 2007
1st, It all started with purely just girls' talk.
heartbroken history we all try to hide and left untold unless asked.
then we realised, guys have a common voice when breaking up:
"you are a nice girl but I...."
"we may or may not be together again..."
"my love is not as strong as before..."
DUH! and one of my gd gal frenz wonder if they had a manual of
how to lose a girl in 10 days!
geez.
how many times do they have to do it?
I mean I have NOTHING against men but sometimes they are just quite dumb to get caught offguard or should I say, underestimate women's intelligence? haha
don't argue, just read on.
yes, it takes 2 hands to clap but what can cause a men to say GOODBYE without even shedding a tear and wakes up tomorrow feeling great and very much SINGLE.
memories - nothing to them.
then they voiced out giving reasons like:
STRESS
UNREASONABLE
POSSESSIVE
DEPENDENT
OTHER PRIORITIES
what?! like girls don't even have the reason TO LIVE.
yaps, they are the stronger sex or should I say SEX DRIVES THEM ALL.
ok then where's the sense of responsbility and commitment?
then they say F it!
girls go bOO HOOO......... who suffers? their gfs (nola, I am not complaining)
FAIRNESS, LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.
next days,weeks or months maybe even years.
girl sees guy with another girl.
girl gathers gfs and all started chanting, "WHAT A JERK, ASSHOLE, BASTARD AND WHATEVER CRUDE NAMES GIRLS CAN EXCLAIM."
another girl suffers.
the whole bulli cycle repeats.
there we go,
Someone's JERK becomes someone's PRINCE CHARMING.
so when u get a real guy (or so u think he's the one), have he been a jerk to someone else?
let's digress to women.
we are one confident bunch.
you can say we are lucky getting gd guys.
then guy's repeat their script.
TRANSFORM TO JERK.
girl suffers.
then girl gets another guy and find him so sweety.
well well well. no comments for bad judgements
but what is my point?
NOONE NOES who is going to have the last laugh.
wow! I GOT A GREAT ONE?! HE'S THE ONE.
WOWWEE! i love him so much!
pls, give some space for the jerkiness that he MIGHT or MIGHT NOT POSSESS.
gd luck, love is a risk anywayLabels: love
A rainbow to end my day
1:37 AM
purest Love of all
Monday, July 31, 2006
I have been addicted to Sex and the City.
Everynight it was a DVD chase... chasing every episode and seasons
what so great abt it?
it reflects the modern women in New York where Sex was nothing to them.
that's not the fun part.
the fun part is when women speaks her mind out about men, relationships, sex, life and it juz caught me there laughing non-stop!
that's not only it.
the way implicitly placed and the words used are intellectually humourous. some even say out the deepest secret of me - undiscovered.
I admire Carrie. I like the quirky angry miranda. I appreciate charlotte's beauty and samantha? I love her sexiness and protectiveness over the gers.
Wish I can have a group of gfs like them to talk abt sex and anything under the sun with no judgement and misunderstandings.
juz open minded.
some quotes I love from the sex and the city:
Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.
Carrie: Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away.
the one in my nick:
Carrie: I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love. And I don't think that love is here in this expensive suite in this lovely hotel in Paris.
and wheres my PUREST LOVE OF ALL?
It all started when I was 16 yrs old.
LOoks was all it matters.
It's really cute and innocent.
PURE.
I did not think abt the future.
I did not access his wealth.
I did not bother about his smartness or qualifications.
I did not have to think about his career.
I did not have to wonder does he have a car.
I did not realised about his character.
I did not wonder about his family.
I did not care if he spends on me.
I did not mind if he have time for me.
everything was juz spontaneous!
I like him , he like me. that's it.
NO expectations.
juz enjoy every moment together. Loving and embracing each other.
awwwwwww.. ro-man-tic
Someone told me expectations kill. somehow I Agree.
but As I get older, expectations accumulate and growing.
I learned.
TO find Love, expect less and give more.
It was then I realise stupidity and pettiness only lead to waste of time in the relationship and unnecessary unhappiness.
why do u wanna put urself thru this when we all can in peace apologising and holding hands after a small misunderstanding?
argh! I want the purest love of all.
like I was 16 yrs old where I can love a person for who he is.
where he can make me smile and laugh to his jokes.
where he can tell me how was his day and hows work
where he can show the simple care a man shower to his ger.
where he can msg me telling me how much he misses me.
where he can love me for who I am.
where he can be most patient.
I dun need daimonds.
I dun need his position in his company to tell me how successful he is.
I dun need a car, I dun mind if its riding public transportation.
I dun need a qualification as high as I am, juz communication is not a problem.
I dun need his full attention I guess
haha
I wish only.
Maybe If i fall in love, it will be another story.
let's be juz fools in loveLabels: love
A rainbow to end my day
10:29 PM
thanks vday gifting
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Vday thanks gifting!
I got a gucci rush & adidas watch (white!I like!) from nneth:
happy of coz.... appreciate becoz I really wanted a gucci rush all along :P
the watch was the BONUS - THE PRIZE! i wanted that too
I bought him a crumpler "the complete seed" bag model and I hope the size fits him (he was thinking it was too big and too ex -.-" but dear, it's once a year. It's ok ;D but I realise in crumpler online store, it's currently out of stock!
he actually wanted a "western lawn" which is a smaller version of the model i bought but I think it's too small and too little things to put in?
I guess I will get a western lawn myself!
I made this for him and using my arty farty thinking, I decorate a very big heart... well next time take photo show u guys. for the meantime, my romantic design :P
enlarge the love poem from the jpeg file I designed:
all the love that history knows,
is said to be in every rose
yet all that can be found in two
is less than what i feel for you
love is in the air, catch itLabels: love
A rainbow to end my day
4:19 AM
what I have to say
Friday, February 17, 2006
Please read the post entry below this latest post first :)
To her:
all in love is all in the faith and hope.
I wrote that earlier post NOT to discriminate guys.
no matter how BASTARDY they can be, we ladies still love u dearly
becoz that's how god make us to be
we r MEANT for each other in heaven and earth
dun give up on love. dun give up on marsians
there's someone out there worth waiting for....
wherever u r...
find this interesting:
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."
nneth.... i wanna tell u how much I cherish u...
How i wish u r by my side at this moment to hug u, every single moment....Labels: love
A rainbow to end my day
3:33 AM
bastardies
Gosh...
are guys BASTARDS?
are they NOT satisfy with only one?
ya ok i dun generalize but why SOME(most?) of them are like this?
here goes why....
I introduced this guy (whom I do not noe very well) to this close frenz of mine
and I thought he was OK (wrong judgement!)
so.. without doing anything (like matchmaking or watsoever but I give each of them their contacts)
they got TOGETHER
realised the guy was NOT that good(very bad) after all
she was hurt (sighz...)
I was in a dilemma to encourage or discourage becoz the guy was very persistent to tell her to give him one more chance (lies...)
well, i choose to be NEUTRAL & stand on the fence
I believe everyone deserve a 2nd chance (but i realised not for him!)
she was happy. things were different. at least she was smiling :)
at least she was treated properly
at least she was officially his gf
at least they loved each other (maybe?)
then i thot this story will nv come to an end..(all true love will have no ending)
in the end?
guy did his BASTARD thing again.
he wanted a break-up out of the blue
he inflicted all the misery or so he claim.
he state reasons which are excuses that he should let go becoz ger is miserable
he put all the reasons becoz it's for her own good
he tok abt how he loved her thats y this decision to let her face the music ALONE HERSELF
he mentioned abt how NOBLE LOVE is (rubbish!)
but what? hello! ya say it again. U LOVED HER. SHE LOVED HIM TRULY
they met on vday. I passed flowers to him for her. (ya im being nice!)
he appeared sad. really living in hell (actor ya)
juz UNBELIEVABLE
NOW WE NOE THE TRUTH.
he got attached again.
the real reason revealed...
he can't be alone.
the ger was brave. yes, I am PROUD of u.. i say it one more time..
no more tears to shed.
anyway, bastards dun deserve it.
he's not worth it
so can guys be really trusted? u speak of love. u claim u love.
letting go is NOT (NEVER) a reason for love.
if u truly love someone, would u ever let go? unless maybe the ger wish to let go and leave.
I just feel that love is selfish indeed. I wun wanna c someone I love leave right before my eyes. I wanna hold him tight but yet give him wings to fly.
****nneth is a lucky man**** hoho!
seeing too much CRAPZ! y can't u guys juz do something to let us love u completely?
let us fall DEEPLY, DEEPER AND WITHOUT A THING TO WORRY ABOUT!
what do u say?Labels: love
A rainbow to end my day
3:03 AM
love is in the air
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
happy vday!
It was a special Vday
while couples are having the time of their lives looking into each other eyes, rendevous and maybe a lit' hanky panky.
I was out there selling roses at ECP.
Nahz... I am attached.
yes! and happy with nneth.
juz that this job offer is too HARD to resist. 1 hr $10 and require us to sell 6 roses for 3 hrs 7pm - 10pm at the end, we will get $120 if sold all.
ya call me workaholic.
I am juz so broke? and I wanna give something worthwhile to nneth before owing him so much money juz to buy stuffs for him.
we went to ECP and the crowd was good. couples almost everywhere!
our special glow-in-the-dark flowers
taken in pitch black
our left over flowers! c the undying glow!it's really pretty!
nice rite?
well, we went around asking for sales. it was tough!
trust me! but very satisfying when people juz take out the $10 to purchase it.
I met all sorts of couples and some really amazed me.
sales slow down and then weisheng unknowingly took the box of roses to shout "FLOWERS FOR SALE!" in the quiet ECP beach with all the couples enjoying their romantic moments.
embarassed! ehehe.. but was fun.
we walked in front of the couples by the benches and the beach.
trust me, we DID NOT c anything.
and weisheng asked almost every couple siting down. I admire his courage.
If i were the ger, i would have ignored him or scolded him!
disturbing our private moments!
hehee.... but it worked!
we sold a total of 40 flowers out of supposedly 51.
I think we did GREAT! I am proud of ourselves. we earned $60 for 3 hrs. amazing.
One guy with his wife and 2 kids bought for his wife. I find it so sweet!
he carried it with care and present to the wife who was mending the tent.touching.
saw many couples set up picnic by the beach with candles lying around, glazing at the stars with a sip of red wine with their loved one. what can more expect?!
that's ROMANTIC!
simple things like this..... juz make my vday more meaningful.
I appreciate really. the hardwork. it paid off.
I am glad i did this, thanks jacky.
Labels: love
A rainbow to end my day
3:23 AM
totally makes me
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Y do guys keep quiet & pretend most of the time?
allow me to explain:
recently, a couple whom I know broke up when the gal told me about it. She was very affected by it and received counselling. they are together for 7 mths but she feels he's the one.
silly?
I dun think so
it's not the TIME but the FEELINGS once shared.
I was SHOCKED when she told me how she was stayed in the room and suffered in misery. she even thought of committing suicide. She looked strongerthan what she claim. every night, she drowned herself in tears. she mentioned the break-up was sudden. no signs. NOTHING.
It juz so reminded me in the past. I would have hated that guy but I din. she wants to wait, she says. he loves her, she says.
Love. it makes and breaks a person totally.
his reason? he can't forget his ex gf.
In a way I admire his courage.
he's not selfish to let her go eventhough in his mind, he thinks of another who do not want to be with him<
but then again, could he be confused?
maybe jus thoughts of the past. memories that linger that he PRESUME it's still love and affection he feels for her?
we are all adults. I am sure he knows what he is doing
BUT!
He made me abit disgusted when I asked him before I know the news but they broke up already,
"Have you bought vday present for her?"
he said, " yeah bought 3 stalks, they came by to sell the other time."
"that's sweet!!"
and he was smiling to himself and we talked abt THEIR RELATIONSHIP indirectly.
he did not mention they broke up or sorts. no signs at all.
was he pretending they r still together?
I told the ger. she was also clueless why he reacted this way but she wishes to know why...
are guys juz not willing to open their golden mouths(hearts) to let people know how they feel or when things happen, they juz choose to be silent(killer)?
why keep in the heart? isn't it tormenting?
PLEASE.... voice out.
we ladies wanna hear from you! be it friends, lover, family...
Labels: love
A rainbow to end my day
4:27 PM
That's when I love you...
Sunday, February 05, 2006
I feel so much this way now.....
The song in the blog is
Aslyn - That's when I love you
sing... sing along with me.. feel it with me
When u have to look away
When u don't have much to say
That's when I love u
I love u just that way
To here u stumble when u speak
Or see u walk with two left feet
That's when I love you
I love u endlessly
And when your mad cause u lost the game
Forget I'm waiting in the rain
Baby I love u
I love u anyway
Cause here's my promise made tonight
U can count on me 4 life
Cause that's when I love u
When nothing u do can change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love u
When I love u
No matter what
So when u turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie it made u cry
That's when I love u
I love u
A little more each time
And when u cant quite match you clothes
Or when u laugh at your own jokes
that's when I love u I love u
More then u know
And when u forgot that we had a date
Or that look that u give when u show up late
Baby I love u ,I love u anyway
So here's my promise made tonight
U can count on me 4 life
Cause that's when I love u
When nothing u do can change my moind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
That's when I love u
When I love u
No matter what
Ohh that's when I love u when nothing baby, nothing u do could change my mind
The more I learn, the more I love, the more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love u , when I love u no matter what
Ohhhh no matter whatLabels: love
A rainbow to end my day
11:44 AM
one wish
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.
- Courtney Kuchta -
to u and only u....
and U who noe who U R...
I mean it...Labels: love
A rainbow to end my day
2:44 AM
